Did I tell you about...

When we share our lives often enough with enough people, there will be times when we wonder "did I tell you about that already?" or "have I told them yet?"

The funny thing is, that never used to be a "problem" for me. Especially when I think back on high school, there were so few people I talked to on a regular basis that I would know if I had already told them about something going on in my life. (That is if I had even cared to mention anything. ) And on several occasions I would remember having a conversation with someone who have forgotten about it; just usual simple everyday conversations that I could easily store in my uncrowded memory of social interactions.

But the random realization I came to tonight is that lately (in my college years) I do have that thought on occasion- as I went outside tonight to feed my dog and saw my car in the driveway I wondered to myself if I had told a particular friend or family member about my new car yet since the other had been totalled in an accident I was in recently. So I just smiled to myself seeing how my "social skills" and really just a relational and conversational personality has been in progress through my years in college. That part of me has really come about through my experiences in a meaningful Christian community on campus and coming to realize how relational Jesus is and how that is part of the foundation of being a witness and being in His ministry. Thank you Lord!

You are my All In All

As I sat on Catalina Island at Campus By the Sea with the newly bonded Campus Team, we sang this song. At that moment I immediately flashed back to the mountain top in Tepotzlan where I sang the same song with the Global Urban Trek team that went to Mexico City for 5 weeks driven by a God who loves justice. I still get choked up watching this video and remembering what an amazing experience it was to be a part of that team. My hope now is that Campus Team will be just as amazing and filled with the love and spirit of Jesus Christ. Thank you God for the privilege it is to be in a community of people whom I can call my sisters and brothers because of you.




You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Jesus Lamb of God worthy is your name
Jesus Lamb of God worthy is your name

Taking my sin my cross my shame
Rising again I bless your name
You are my all in all

When I fall down you pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

I couldn't give a cucumber!

Yay for idomatic phrases :-)
Check out this one. Brought to me (and now to you) by dictionary.com, Spanish Word of the Day (Saturday, July 7, 2007)

pepino, noun
cucumber

Pepino is the Spanish word for cucumber. For example, if you’re shopping at the market, you could say:

Dos pepinos, por favor.
Two cucumbers, please.

But did you know that you can also use the expression me importa un pepino to say that you could(n’t) care less?

Me importa un pepino lo que piense.
I could(n’t) care less what he thinks. (Literally, I couldn’t give a cucumber.) :-)

A similar idiom involves rábanos - radishes; also me importa un comino

Me importa un rábano lo que la gente piense.
I could(n’t) care less what people think.

A Lower Cost of Clothes... at What Cost?

Made in China.
Made in Bangladesh.
Made in Vietnam.
Made in Sweatshops...?

My brother and sister took my mom clothes shopping at Kohl's today and I tagged along. However after doing a search on the internet before we left doubted I would buy anything. I came across this website: http://www.coopamerica.org/programs/sweatshops/scorecard.cfm. I wouldn't judge the stores listed to harshly, but I don't doubt that at least some of their merchandise comes from sweatshop labor.

Yes using international cheap labor does result in cheaper products brought to the U.S. but I wish more people would recognize at what cost we have this convenience. I can't help look at the tags on clothing and get suspicious when it is made in a third world country.

So for now my only solution is to not buy clothing. And I also plan on checking out the store American Apparel, which I've heard is all "Made in America." http://americanapparel.net/

Bill Gates and Creative Capitalism

"Bill Gates graduated from Harvard," my mom told me the other day. "Who cares," is what I first thought. I assumed it was just another article about publicizing the lives of famous people. But then she read me some of the quotes that were printed in the article. I found it pretty interesting and thought "Wow, that is pretty cool."

In TIME Magazine, these were the quotes pulled out from Bill Gates graduation speech from Harvard:

ON HIS TIME AT THE COLLEGE
" I do have one big regret. I left Harvard with no real awareness of the awful inequities in the world-- the appalling disparities of health and wealth and opportunity that condemn millions to lives of despair."

ON POVERTY AND ECONOMY
"We can make market forces work better for the poor if we can develop a more creative capitalism-- if we can stretch the reach of market forces so that more people can profit...serving people who are suffering..."

ON FINALLY GRADUATING
"I've been waiting more than 30 years to say this: Dad, I always told you I'd come back and get my degree."

The article certainly gave me a lot more respect for Bill Gates. And it also made me wonder: Can capitalism be restructured in a way to help the people who usually get trampled by it?

You can find the full article here:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1630188,00.html

When Roosters Attack

Last week, I was taking care of my neighbor's pets while they were away for the Easter holiday. One of my tasks is to feed/take care of their chickens. This requires going into the coop with the chickens. No problem, right? So it would seem, but let me tell you, it gets a whole lot more complicated when there is a rooster in their midst. When I went into the coop to put food out for them and the rooster charged to peck at my legs, I was personally offended. I mean, come on! I just want to feed them and give them water and this guy has the nerve to attack me! Needless to say, I finished my chore as quickly as possible to avoid being further assaulted. Even while I walked around the outside of the coop the rooster would follow me and peck at the wire nearest to me. In frustration I was thinking "Man...chill out!" Though the rooster's actions probably stem from a protective instinct, I was still hurt because I knew I had no intention of hurting the chickens. Though a relatively minor offense in my case, I couldn't help think about similiar injustices on a larger scale... situations where people are attacked for no good reason.

Interestingly, later that same morning of "the attack" ;-), I had some extra time before class and so read a little from Psalsms which allowed me to come across this scripture:

"See how they lie in wait for me!

Fierce men conspire against me for no offense or sin of mine, O Lord.

I have done no wrong yet they are ready to attack me

Arise to help me; look on my plight!"

-Psalm 59:3-4

I couldn't help but go "huh." and relate this Psalm to my experience just hours before. Basically I related with the reaction of the attackee in such a situation, with sentiments such as" "that's no fair" or "I did nothing to deserve this" or "why would they do that?" The psalmist responds to his plight by depending on the fact that God is his strength in these situations of unfairness. For God sees such acts of wicked men that while not go unpunished. But as for us, as we face evil men (or roosters) we must say:
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love: you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."

Okay, I admit it's a bit silly of me to apply the need to depend on God as my strength to my run-in with the rooster, but nevertheless, it still prompted a more significant train of thought. As hurt as a felt in this silly situation, I can't imagine what it is like for people who live in circumstances when they become victims of unfairness so often. But I do know that they need God in those situatons.

Plus, I also learned from my experience. The next time I went into the chicken coop, I came prepared wearing close toed shoes for one thing. In additon I found a small rake which I held in one hand as I went into the coop to refill the food and water. The rooster looked warily at me and the rake, but I managed to get in and out quicky without any problems.

You never know what God will use in you daily life to make you think and to apply His Word. When roosters attack, God made stop and think.

God's Extravagent Welcome

I heard a similar version of this NPR story aired on the radio Friday morning:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9213698

As I listened I couldn't help myself from responding outloud in frustration to some of the comments being made about this. The fact that this church had to have a committee to decide what to do in this situation, whether or not to allow someone into their congregation, felt terribly wrong.

The general issue was "should a church welcome sex offenders?" My thoughts are, yeah, they probably should. However, whether people are willing and able to do that is not that easy. So many people have been been hurt by sex offenders and continually struggle with that pain. One of the women interviewed for the story did have a history of being sexually abused as a child, but based on her faith she felt she had to accept this man, who was a convicted sex offender, into the church community. Others, especially parents, were (to put it lamely) not so thrilled about the idea. One of the parents who spoke claimed to believe in "radical inclusion," but... and then gave her excuse; perhaps a legimate excuse out of concern for protecting her children, but an excuse nonetheless. Perhaps this seems insensitive and perhaps I would feel differently if I was a member of this church with children of my own... but still...

As hard as it may be to accept, I do believe God asks us to welcome all people into his family no matter what their past grievances and no matter how uncomfortable that is for us. Yes, certainly easier said than done, especially for people with certain connections to the issue. But the willingness of people of God to offer grace and forgiveness is what aught to set us apart as His people. Ultimately, God will not turn people away from heaven who honestly seek salvation no matter what they have done; sex offenders, murderers, liars are all welcome. What right does the church have to turn someone away who is seeking to be a part of the family of God? The women in the story (who was sexually abused) describes that allowing this man, who is a convicted sex offender, into the church as an opportunity to live out her faith. I love how she describes what she believes in as "God's Extravagent Welcome."

definition of gauche

gauche \GOHSH\, adjective: Lacking social polish; tactless; awkward; clumsy.

Embrace the gauche!

Unconditional Love

God loves me unconditionally. But the other day I was struck with the question: do I love God unconditionally? I have never thought about it in those terms before. I am constantly reminded to be thankful for His love and grace for me, just as I am, with all my faults. However, sometimes I forget to remember to tell God that I love Him. And I should not let my love for him change depending on my circumstances or the dire circumstances I see in other people's lives and in the world in general. Even in my sadness and frustration with such things, asking does God really care, I have to remember to love Him unconditionally, simply because he loved me first. If God can manage to love me unconditionally, what right do I have to not love him unconditionally as well? Unconditional love... what a challenge... what an experience... what a gift.

Words of Elihu

"I thought, 'Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding. It is not only the old who are wise, no only the aged who understand what is right."
Job 32:7-9

"Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words? For God does speak-- now one way, now another-- though man may not perceive it."
Job 33:13-14

Why I chose teaching.

This is a big topic for me so I'll try to keep this external processing at a reasonable length. I've been thinking a lot about whether teaching is really what I want to do with my life for God and my vocation... questioning whether I really can or should be doing it. I've been a little stressed out about it especially recently. So first I feel I should start with a little of the story behind why I chose teaching.

In first grade I remember making a little "what I want to be when I grow up" type project for which I chose that I wanted to be a first grade teacher. That was a step up from my preschool aspiration to be a ballerina. How that ever came about, I will never know. I am definately no balleriana. I don't know what I was thinking. But sadly, once I got to high school I could have made the same comment about my desire to be a teacher... what was I thinking?! Me! A teacher? Yeah right. Freshmen year of high school I was in a full swing of insecurity, quietness, and shyness. Not to mention being terrified of public speaking i.e., class presentations. So yeah, picturing myself standing in front of a classroom of students and talking all day... not so much.

Then when it came to applying for college and thinking about a major and a career, I was firmly Undecided. And so I remained Undeclared, considering pretty much anything and everything in the meantime, that was until it got too hard. But anyways, somehow God got me to join leadership with the Justice corps and to co-lead a bible study during my second year. It was really hard for me at first, but as a grew as a leader I got more comfortable leading discussions and even found some joy in it. Over winter break that year, out of nowhere the idea of "teaching" came back to me in full force. I remember my early desire for it, at an age when fear had yet to drive my decisions. So as God helped me to overcome that fear in leading a small group, I was willing to consider that he could help me overcome that fear in order to teach elementary school.

Helping kids to understand the basic skills they would need to learn and be educated really interested me. I knew how to do math in my head easy, but how do I explain that to a 2nd grader in order for them to solve that problem? When I had helped with after-school tutoring the year before, I was intrigued by this, but funny how I did not made the connection to a long-term interest in teaching. But eventually God did hit me over the head with it, and so I directed my studies onto that path.

However, I continue to doubt and get discouraged. Sure, teaching interests me and I wish to teach kids. But honestly, I do not think I am especially good at it, let alone gifted or even naturally inclined towards it. It sounds like a good idea, but when in comes to actually doing it, I'm not really all that great at it. Especially having had some experience working with kids over the summer in Mexico City and now mentoring a 5th grader for one of my classes, I deal with those thoughts a lot. The thoughts that I am boring to kids, not particularly fun to be around, I don't come up with fun things to do, etc. and the discouraging thoughts go on and on. Sometimes me and the kids do have fun together and I do manage to teach them a little something on occaison... but the discouraging thoughts always win.

I could definately go on... but I probably shouldn't. What it comes down to now is that getting better at working with kids and knowing how best to teach them will come with more time and experience. Plus, as un-gifted as I feel as a teacher, I still have a desire to teach. I do have some other thoughts of things I desire to do with my life, but realistically, I can't see myself being anything other than a teacher. Yep, I don't know for sure... but for now I am going to keep on this path God has sent me on and hope that it will continue to feel right and more secure as time goes on.

First of all...

I am a terrible blogger. I think of things to write ever so often, but I still haven't gotten the hang of it. Especially because it means making the time to sit down and write something. And time is something I don't feel I have a whole lot of. Plus when I only know of one other person who will actually read my blog, I do not feel a whole lot of incentive to put write something up. Writing does help me process my thoughts though, so I hope to be better about finding the time for it. Which will lead me to my next post topic...

Don't Point! Don't Stare!

... didn't your mother ever tell you that? Many of us have been heard that before. It's rude to point. It's impolite to stare. Or so we are taught. Even I have taken to joking with people about that social expectation. Doing what is expected of me to be seen as a proper and well-behaved member of society. And yeah I think it can be rude to point and it can be impolite to stare. But I really think it depends on why you are pointing and why you are staring. Perhaps we should look at it differently. The world teaches us not to point or to stare, but Jesus teaches us to pay attention and to point out the people around us... with concern and care for them. We aren't supposed to look at that poor person on the street as we pass them by, but that's exactly who God wants us to be noticing and caring for.

So maybe we shouldn't be staring, but I think we should be looking, we should be noticing those in need. And I don't think we should go around pointing at people, but we should be approaching them, with love. It is a whole lot more comfortable to do what the world expects of us: just walk by and mind your own business. The good Samaritan didn't just walk by. He stopped and looked and responded! In other words, he had compassion. True to his teaching in this parable, Jesus himself showed us what it takes to care. "When he SAW the crowds, had COMPASSION on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." (Matthew 9:36) In order to have compassion for people we have to LOOK in order to see their need. God help me to have the courage to look and to respond.

Always seeking Answers in America

Last quarter I did a research paper on "Mary Poppins" for my Children's Lit. class which led me to discovering that the author of that famous story, P.L Travers, had some interesting things to say about her book. One of the things she had to say that caught my attention was the following:

"You know, in America, everybody thinks there’s an answer to every question. They’re always saying, “But why and how?” They always think there is a solution. There is a great fortitude in that and a great sense of optimism. In Europe, we are so old that we know there are certain things to which there is not an answer. And you will remember, in this regard, that Mary Poppins chief characteristic is that she never explains. I often wonder why people write and ask me to explain this and that. I’ll write back an say that Mary Poppins didn’t explain, so neither can I or neither will I…"
Source: The Paris Review Interviews ed. by Plimpton, George. “Women Writers at Work”. Pg. 136

This quote from Travers caught my attention because I was among the audience of readers who questioned Poppins' character and wanted an explanation for why she did this or that or why she was the way was. After reading Travers' opinion on the matter, I had to stop and say "Well I guess I can accept that." If even the author herself cannot explain the character she created then who am I to question. When she says "neither Mary Poppins didn't explain so neither can I or neither will I," I am amazed by the way she treats the character of Mary Poppins with such creative respect. Some might think this is a strange thing, but I think it is an admirable quality of a person who creates art. Much of what Travers has to say about her writing is very intriguing to me. The more I read of interviews from P.L. Travers during my reasearch the more I admired the perspectives she brought to her writing. Thus, don't be suprised if a few more of her quotes show up on a few more posts down the road.

But as for the topic at hand... After reading this quote, I had to accept that I was responding with an American culture by questioning "why and how" as Travers pointed out. She doesn't say this is an awful thing about America, however I did kind of read it as a less than desirable trait to have. Sure there is something admirable about seeking answers, but there is also something admirable in just accepting and even appreciating the unexplainable. I always appreciate seeing a new persepective on how I see things especially when it comes from someone looking in from the outside. Now I can identify my explanation-seeking part of myself as part of the culture I grew up in, but now I can also step outside of that and embrace another view that says I don't need an explanation. Of course being brought up with a faith in God has also helped me with this issue. I may often seek an explanation for things, but in that I have to accept and learn to take comfort in the fact that only God has all the answers.

Defying the Laws of Attraction

When thinking about relationships, some people talk about having the right chemistry. Then there is also the popular idea that opposites attract. In the laws of phsyics and chemistry this is very true. Opposite signs attract and like-charges repel. However, when it comes to me and Sean it seems the more similiar we find ourselves to be to each other the more we attract and the closer we become. Of course we are not exactly the same in every way, but there is a lot of overlap. At first, the like-mindedness between us was striking and intriguing. And now our similiarities become a major source of comfort, understanding, and often amusement between us. This is not to say that the opposites attract thing doesn't work for some people, but as for Sean and I, being on the same wavelength is part of the beauty and perhaps harmony of our relationship. So in recognition of our 3 months as a couple... here's to defying the laws of attraction. Somehow it just works.